What steps are you taking to start at “NOW”? Please share in the comments below.
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“Hey! That’s the mom from the Fresh Prince!” Those were my first thoughts when I ran across this story about Janet Hubert’s open letter to Wendy Williams which called her out for being a bully to Whitney Houston over the years and other celebrities as well. Her letter to Wendy states, “How do you sleep at night knowing that you are one of the biggest bullies in the world disguised as HOT TOPICS? Celebrities are not topics we are people, just like everyone else, we hurt and we hear and we bleed real blood, not fake blood, just as you do.”
My second thought was, “Hmmm, wasn’t Janet Hubert just in the media for negative comments about Will Smith and how she was not going to attend the Fresh Prince of Bel-Air reunion?” But, I digress…Ms. Hubert has been receiving both praise and backlash for her comments in the letter. Many have questioned her motives for writing the letter. I don’t know what Janet Hubert’s motives are. This story has certainly gotten my attention for two reasons. For one, she is a beautiful, dark-skinned (yea, I said it), middle-aged African-American natural beauty who is WORKING IT! As an actor, mother, entrepreneur and out-spoken naturalista, Janet is a woman after my own heart. This blog praises that. The second reason this story caught my attention is the issue of gossip and negativity in our society (especially amongst women) which must be addressed.
Somewhere along the way in our society, our moral compass has taken us off-course, and we feel that gossip and slander is okay. Not only is gossip okay, it’s also okay to money off of it. Gossip is defined as: “idle talk or rumor, especially about the personal or private affairs of others.” Idle is defined as: “of no real worth, importance, or significance.” So, one might conclude that gossip has no real worth, importance or significance, and therefore we should not waste our time indulging in it. Don’t get me wrong, we are humans and gossip is very titillating. The Wendy Williams Show, TMZ and the like can be very entertaining at times. Plus, sometimes it’s hard to resist listening to a good, juicy, “Girl, did you hear____?”
In my post, What Whitney, Michael and Don Remind Us, I touched on the fact that celebrities are robbed of process of dealing with one’s issues to create inner healing. This process of inner healing is a private process which cannot be done in the public-eye. We, the public do not allow celebrities the opportunity to adequately deal with life situations when it’s plastered on the front page of the Enquirer or discussed irreverently on gossip talk shows.
Janet Hubert is on point with her observations. She states in the letter,
“We need to stop, and the world needs to stop. I need to stop as well. There will be no more quotes from me to be misquoted.” Good for you, Janet!
She also asked the question, “Where are my sisters out there who feel as I do?” I’m waving and screaming, “Over here! Over here!” To paraphrase the Bible, in Romans 14:19, “Let us do and say things that will bring peace and harmony. Let us seek to build each other up not tear one another down.” No one is perfect, and we may not get it 100% right. But, the next time we come in contact with a piece of information about someone let’s think about whether not sharing it will add any value or will it just tear them down.
Please share your thoughts.
I have a dream that my four little children will one day live in a nation where they will not be judged by the color of their skin but by the content of their character.
Unfortunately, this is exactly what happened in the 1970s and 80s. Many Blacks became apathetic toward the civil rights movement and satisfied with minor victories against social injustice. After King’s death, we went from a state of activism to gradualism, accepting minor reforms as they came. Throwing a program at a community ridden with poverty and violence is like putting band aid on a stab wound. We have allowed the current welfare system to rob us of our dignity, self-worth and passion. King advocated that all would have access to the American Dream which is life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness. In many ghettos across America that pursuit of happiness turned into pursuit of the materialistic. “By any means necessary” as quoted by Malcolm X, turned killing your brother in order to gain respect or robbing your grandmother to feed to your addiction. Let us do away with the gradualism that nullifies our soul and resurrect the passion of change deep within.
A Return to Dignity and Discipline
2. “We must forever conduct our struggle on the high plane of dignity and discipline.”
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The holidays can do one of two things in our life. They can give us a warm fuzzy feeling as we connect with family and friends while extending generosity to others. Or, the holidays can remind us of the situations and circumstances that can make our lives miserable. Perhaps, you have lost a job, or a loved one. Maybe your kids are acting crazy, or you are waiting for a spouse or your car got towed. And to top things off, your hair is doing crazy and unexpected things… Maybe it’s just a matter of not being satisfied with where you are in life right now. You have dreams and visions, but you just can’t seem to get a break. Trust me, I know the feeling! It can be overwhelming at times. We either respond with gratitude or we shut down emotionally.
Your self is comprised of all the things that make you who you are. It is comprised of your body, mind, thoughts, emotions, desires–basically everything pertaining to you. When situations arise, self is the first one to react and sometimes the last one to let go. Even after the storm has calmed, our self is still not satisfied. Part of being at peace with self is being satisfied with what was and what is. It’s about having gratitude for life.
Taking care of self
A good friend of mine called me the other day and asked, “When’s the last time you did something just for your self?” I was like, “Ummmmm…” It’s so easy, especially during the hustle and bustle of the holidays to neglect self. We sometimes feel like “self” activities, like pampering, eating healthy, exercising or just doing things by yourself, are a waste of time. What we fail to realize is that when self is neglected, it will eventually begin to shut down. Your body will react with health issues, fatigue, skin and hair issues. Your mind and emotions will react with poor concentration, moodiness, depression and low self-esteem. Neglecting self will cause you to not be able to effectively care for the people who depend on you or execute the things you endeavor.
So, at the end of the day, when the festivities are over and you are alone with self, it’s important to release the good and the bad. It’s important to release and move on because tomorrow is a new day. In everything give thanks. Choose to be at peace.